You have to realize that caring for a child is demanding
It is even more challenging when you are not fully aware
No matter the kind of day you had,
Mom had her day too
So come together and be parent and stop leaving all the responsibilities to mom- Christiana Stephen (c), 2016.
I have come to realize how most people see parenting and why that norm should be changed. The word parenting means to be or act as a mother or father to someone. So in this case if you are not fully ready to be a parent then do not bring a child into the world.
We have been made to believe that being a parent to someone is a big deal especially if you are from the African culture. Most of us were raised to believe that it is the sole responsibility of the mother to take care and handle all the affairs of the children while the man goes out to work. The father’s role in our society has been reduced to a mere provider and in most cases it is sad that the woman has to play the role of both the father and the mother while the man sits down to dish out instructions.
I stumbled on an online journal at psychologytoday.com- here’s what the journal has to say about the father’s role in a child’s life-Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections. The way fathers play with their children also has an important impact on a child’s emotional and social development. Fathers spend a higher percentage of their one-to-one interactions with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. The influence of a father’s involvement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.
After going through this journal I was really impressed on how important the father’s role is in a child’s life. this has always been my view but reading from someone else is fascinating.
A lot of times we moms are the reason why dads do not partake in child care I dare say this is the awkward mentality that we were brought up with. To see a dad nurse his child seem like a pretty big deal which shouldn’t be the case. Moms,do not isolate the upbringing of your child.From when the baby is born, try to give the child to the dad to bond, gradually they get use to changing diaper and it grows from there. stop saying I do not want to bother him. Even if he works all day,that should’t stop him from assisting. We get so emotional that we push ourselves to the point of being a mom and a dad at the same time. This is easy to say and do especially when both parents are together but in a situation where you are a single mom (I will have to write about this soon). For those who are with their partners and you fail to let them stay relevant in the lives of the kid because you are trying to be a hero,you will end up raising a child who feels it is a big deal for daddies to nurse.
I scolded someone who called my hubby a childminder because he was looking after they kids. I will state it right here that when a man looks after his child it is called parenting not child minding. If in doubt check your dictionary and there you will see the clear difference between a child minder and a parent. Stop pampering your man, give him the right to also be a parent. At the end of the day it will bring him closer to the child and create a deeper bond. Encourage him to be a better father, no one wins a trophy for neglecting his roles.
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Wow, nice piece. My husband have always been involved in the life of our daughter as much as he can and am grateful to God for that be cause sim fathers don’t feel it’s part if their responsibility to help cater for lil ones.