I hope we enjoyed our blog post last week? I enjoyed all the comments and feedback. Thanks to all of you. I thought of some of the nasty questions I have been asked and the ones I have heard form family and friends and I decided to put some together. Whether or not you are a mom, try as much as you can to avoid asking mothers these 10 questions. Even though they may be polite to give you an answer, deep inside they may find it quite offensive. So the next time you lack words just stay quiet.
- Why is your belly so big? every mom wants to get back to shape as such as they can, even when they cant’t, this is something we desire a lot. We can go an extra mile for this but for a lot of people it becomes quite challenging. So when you open your mouth to ask a mother, why her belly is big; you have indirectly caused her some heartache. It is depressing and trust me sometimes this question comes from fellow women who have gone through this stage. I have heard this question a million times over and it is one question, I have never thought of asking a mom. Try to be nice to each other, it is hard to be faced with a huge belly, so do not rub it in, we just can’t stand it.
- Why are you so fat? this particular one is quite similar to the first. Fat to me sounds like an insult and i do not expect people to use it others. I have heard even husbands call their wives fat. If you are such a man you better stop it. Do not talk a woman down, she probably has gone through lots of changes. There are better ways to make her consider doing something about it, but calling her fat is totally unacceptable.
- Why is your child like this? I probably have had many reasons to ask some women this question until i had my own kids then realised that it is difficult to raise a kid and no matter how hard you try -you won’t have a perfect child. So if you find a child misbehaving, it does not necessarily mean the mom is irresponsible. I have 4 kids and most times I sit and ask myself how on earth my mom raised me. To raise a child is time consuming, so caught me some slack.
- Why do you have stretch marks? really? do not even ask me such. Because I will probably look at you in a way you can’t imagine.
- How far gone are you?: this question is always directed to pregnant moms. When you are not her husband or doctor then it is none of your busy. Especially for an African woman.
- How old are you? I really do not find this offensive but I find moms around me can’t stand this question. I celebrate my age and I am proud to say it wherever but some people do not like it. so learn to respect their feelings.
- Why is your house so scattered? with 4 kids I have hardly had an organise house. Even after arranging the house, they are always ready to scatter everywhere. If you are a husband and you get home to find your house scattered -the best thing to do if you cannot stand it is help arrange it. After all it is your house too rather than blame it on the woman who has spent all day taking care of the kids. If you are a guest please face your visit and ignore the house.
- What do you weigh? If you aren’t a trainer or a doctor, please avoid this question.it really isn’t your business. Let moms be every mom is trying hard to be at her best so do not push her to a state of depression.
- When are you going to have another child? it is of no use to you. A lot of moms with one child are trying hard for another. asking them when the next child is coming isn’t a good idea. No one actually knows when a child appears in the womb. So quit being a life monitor.
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I am Dr. Christiana Stephen, a wife, a mom of 4 under 4 year old kids, a photo lover, makeup artist, a wellness coach and a lecturer. Motherhood for me is ongoing, its a period of learning and unlearning. I am passionate about a lot of things but most importantly helping mothers around the work reach their wellness goals comes as top priority. Hence, I have created this community for every woman out there. Feel free to be part of this amazing journey of motherhood and wellness. I will say raising this community is inspired by my experience and learning process. The main essence is to empower moms on the benefits of healthy living as well as the need to create a life work balance.
I am nice so a lot of people say and I believe I am very approachable even when there is a lot to be done. I love teaching. I can teach on a lot of things including time and stress management.