Each year an estimated 1.9m people in the UK suffer some form of domestic abuse – 1.3 million female victims (8.2% of the population) and 600,000 male victims (4%) (safelives.org.uk). This shows that there is domestic violence against men but they don’t just speak up. A lot of times I see post centred on violence against women but what about violence against men? I don’t want to believe the society is partial about issues. I’m going to capture my thought on this matter the best possible way. A study by Washington (2002) shows that the motives for violence against women is the same as that against men and it can take different forms. Domestic violence against men can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. It is sad to see that most women do not find it difficult to abuse their husbands at any slightest provocation. Before you argue this issues let’s set some record straight.
According to online dictionary using or involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something. Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviours to control his or her partner (mayoclinic.org). That violence against men is hardly spoken about does not mean it does not exist. It is time for someone to speak up. If you are abusing your spouse you really have to stop. It really doesn’t matter what he did to deserve it. No one should be violated. These are the signs to show that you are violating your spouse:
- Call him names, insult or put him down
- Preventing him from going out
- Restricting him from being with friends or family
- Controlling how he spends money, where he goes
- Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses him of being unfaithful
- Threatening him with violence or a weapon
- Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurt him, your children or your pets
- Forcing him to have sex or engage in sexual acts against his will
- Blames him for your violent behaviour or telling him he deserves it
When you abuse your spouse remember the effect it has on your home. If you have children, they may end up with developmental problems, psychiatric disorders, problems at school, aggressive behaviour and low self-esteem (Mayoclinic.org). If you are reading this and you are a man in an abusive relationship, kindly seek help. Do not stay and die in silence, it does not matter what the person is doing for you. What is most important is your life and your happiness. Every act of violence is wrong and everyone, whether male or female, has the right to a life free of violence (white ribbon.co.uk).
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I am Dr. Christiana Stephen, a wife, a mom of 4 under 4 year old kids, a photo lover, makeup artist, a wellness coach and a lecturer. Motherhood for me is ongoing, its a period of learning and unlearning. I am passionate about a lot of things but most importantly helping mothers around the work reach their wellness goals comes as top priority. Hence, I have created this community for every woman out there. Feel free to be part of this amazing journey of motherhood and wellness. I will say raising this community is inspired by my experience and learning process. The main essence is to empower moms on the benefits of healthy living as well as the need to create a life work balance.
I am nice so a lot of people say and I believe I am very approachable even when there is a lot to be done. I love teaching. I can teach on a lot of things including time and stress management.