Hope we are all doing great. I have been doing very well too. Thanks to those who have been messaging me and the chats have been wonderful. One mom suggested this topic and I love the sound of this. I am at your service, keep the topics coming.
Lately I have been hearing the word ‘sidechick’ and trust me I am that laid back when it comes to issues like this. I really don’t disturb myself about this. But I had a long chat with a mom who said it was becoming cause for concern and I should address it. Now I am going to do the best I can to capture my thought.
A side chick (plural side chicks) (African American Vernacular, slang) A mistress; a woman one dates in addition to one’s girlfriend or wife, usually in secret. This definition is from online dictionary. To explain it my way-a side chick is one who your partner is secretly having an affair with. That is cheating but it beats me how we are able to assign such a name to something that disgusting. Cheating is disgusting to me. You may not like my view but that’s how I feel about cheating. Having defined who a sidekick is, I have also thought of ways to make the sidekick feel inferior to you. But first you have to understand that sometimes these ladies may not know he his married because some men are born lairs. The liar about everything and as such his status wouldn’t be a big deal to lie about. In a situation where she knows that you exist, these are the ways to give her a silent back off treatment.
- Never Confront a Side chick: I see a lot of ladies fight for their man and some times he makes you feel you have to fight to keep him. That is bullshit and a big time manipulation. Even if you are aware of who she is, do not start up a fight and belittle yourself any further. The reality is that he may have cooked up some lies about you such as you are mad. So the moment you fall in cheaply, she confirms what he said about you is actually true. The issue is with your husband. So treat him the way you should but do not publicly put up a show. He isn’t worth it, If he were, he wouldn’t belittle himself by cheating.
- Beat Her to her game: side chicks are usually those girls who constantly stay attractive to keep him. So beat her to her game. Stay attractive. Let her have sleepless nights just thinking you exist.
- Be in Control: this guy is yours, so be in charge. Do not let another woman win because you just do not know what to do. It hurts remember? I understand but do not cry outside or let your emotions take the better part of you.. Instead stay in control. Don’t nag him, just improve your game. Nagging will only reveal how jealous you are and he may see you as weak. Don’t sell yourself cheap.
- Spend His Money: I wonder why women feel guilty when they spend their husbands money. If you do not, trust me another person will. Learn to spend his money, even if he claims he has little. Make sure you spend it.
- Don’t attract self pity– this is where confidence comes in. Be confident in yourself. Do not blame yourself for his cheating habits. Stop beating yourself for nothing.
- Love yourself- self love is important. This will make you improve on yourself so well enough that you may not even notice his nasty habits
- Stay Positive- side chicks don’t last forever. I understand that it is very difficult to handle a cheating spouse . But stay positive.
- Understand the nature of your partner’s cheating: there is really a lot of reasons why people cheat. So find out what makes him cheat and try to see if you can improve on it.
- Communicate with your spouse: Yes, you have to talk about your pains with him. Lack of trust is a killer of relationship and people should learn not to bridge the trust. Talk to him because he made a vow to stay with you. But do this with proof that he his actually cheating if not he may push everything on you
- Request that your partner cut off all communication with the third party. The third (or even fourth or fifth) party needs to be out of the picture for the relationship to survive. Boundaries were breached, and they need to be re-established in a way that protects the relationship. That means asking your partner to break all ties with the person. This severing may be difficult if the third party is a coworker or someone else that your partner sees on a daily basis.
- Cloud His Space:some side chick do not know you exist, so if that is the case. Make her know by clouding his space. Put comments of love on his FB page about how your marriage is the best. Tag him in your pictures, go out with him on dates. Just cloud his space enough.
- Be Realistic: there’s always storm in marriage. Apply wisdom in all you do, no matter how difficult it is, it will pass.
Thanks for stopping By to read my blabbing. I hope you enjoyed the read. The most important thing is staying true to yourself. Look after yourself enough with that you will hardly notice what’s really going on. Be happy. Feel free to leave a comment, like, re-post, share. Be part of our community. For Moms By Moms.
Photo Credit: My Hubby of Life
I am Dr. Christiana Stephen, a wife, a mom of 4 under 4 year old kids, a photo lover, makeup artist, a wellness coach and a lecturer. Motherhood for me is ongoing, its a period of learning and unlearning. I am passionate about a lot of things but most importantly helping mothers around the work reach their wellness goals comes as top priority. Hence, I have created this community for every woman out there. Feel free to be part of this amazing journey of motherhood and wellness. I will say raising this community is inspired by my experience and learning process. The main essence is to empower moms on the benefits of healthy living as well as the need to create a life work balance.
I am nice so a lot of people say and I believe I am very approachable even when there is a lot to be done. I love teaching. I can teach on a lot of things including time and stress management.