Marriage is no license for disrespect
– Christiana Stephen
I doubt if I am a motivational speaker but I know I am good at what I do. I have received a lot of personal messages from moms who want me to talk about motherhood in a more specific way and I have tried to get my head around what that means. Trying to think outside the box to see how mothers feel from my experience and from what others have shared with me.
I have chosen to go with this topic- don’t let him talk you down
A lot of times we find that we loose ourselves in an attempt to be good wives and perfect moms. We try so hard to be what people expect of us thereby forgetting the very person we are. Well I am here to let you know that you are more than enough. Stop trying too hard to please the world, stop loosing yourself in an attempt to make your marriage work. If he really loves you then he should understand that your are human and as such cannot be perfect.
Some times our spouses say some very harsh words to us that stick for a life time, the tell us things that hurt us so bad and even make us cry. They talk down on us and forget we are just as human as they are. Yes I truly understand, it is hard to let go, hard to forget even almost extremely hard to forgive, that is just fine. These are some ways I will share with you to help you go through this and still keep your head strong.
- Don’t take things personal: he may have said those things to you, he may have meant all they things that came out from his mouth but do not take it personal- take a deep breath and imagine if a sane person can actually hurt himself deliberately. I say this because some partners have not realised that their wives are an extension of them, if they did, there’s a lot of things they will never put us through. so do not think he his directing those things to you because you deserve those words but because he just doesn’t know any better.
- Don’t let his negative words define you: words are so powerful and these are things we hardly even forget. even when we try to forget the play out daily in our heads. The more we let it dwell inside we find out that we become those words. No matter what he says to you- always have a positive definition of who you are. Whenever those negative words play back you tell yourself who you truly are. Do not let his negative words and attitude define who you are. Some men will never rest until they see the last of you and as a mom you do not want that to happen, at least for your kids.
- Own yourself: I see a lot of people loosing themselves and not being able to find themselves in marriage. I find that a sad situation. You need to know yourself, all the things that work for you. Your dreams, your visions, do not let go of them in the name of marriage. Try to own yourself and all the things that makes you.
- Talk Therapy: If you do not think you can handle this by yourself- talk to someone, do not get into a state of depression. Learn to speak to a trusted person. It could be a friend, a relative or whoever you can rely on at that point for emotional support. You will need it to keep things going. Talking helps a lot of people, look for someone who will not be a judge over you and make you feel terrible. It has to be someone who can help you stay positive until the phase is over. We are also available, we offer emotional support for moms so feel free to contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
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I am Dr. Christiana Stephen, a wife, a mom of 4 under 4 year old kids, a photo lover, makeup artist, a wellness coach and a lecturer. Motherhood for me is ongoing, its a period of learning and unlearning. I am passionate about a lot of things but most importantly helping mothers around the work reach their wellness goals comes as top priority. Hence, I have created this community for every woman out there. Feel free to be part of this amazing journey of motherhood and wellness. I will say raising this community is inspired by my experience and learning process. The main essence is to empower moms on the benefits of healthy living as well as the need to create a life work balance.
I am nice so a lot of people say and I believe I am very approachable even when there is a lot to be done. I love teaching. I can teach on a lot of things including time and stress management.