Written By Christiana Stephen
I always thought love was unconditional until he looked me in the eye and said-you are damn too fat for me- Christiana Stephen, 2016
They are so many reasons why your partner may hate you but today I will look at weight as a factor.
Some of us probably got married looking so trimmed and cute and then suddenly motherhood deals hardly on you and leaves you with so much to cry about. Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is fun but when you loose your partner as a result of it, it becomes depressing. Some times men use this as a result to cheat and hurt their wives forgetting that marriage shouldn’t be dependent on looks.
The hard truth is that men are captivated by looks and some of our men want you to remain exactly the same way he married you, even after 4 kids. this is a very difficult and almost impossible situation. I hear moms complain how their husbands call them names- such as fat and all what not just because being a mom had dealt on them. Yes being a mom deals with us differently, if you are a mom who hasn’t had so much trouble with flappy bloated belly- i say lucky you but if you are like me who did not find being flappy funny then read on.
Even though you think you really cannot do anything about it and you feel helpless- I am here to tell you that it is very possible to get back your shape. You have to be determined, focused, self motivated and disciplined.
Make up your mind and tell your partner about your plans to make a change.
Weight loss journey can sometime be lonely and boring, you don’t have to do it alone. you can carry people along. they say the more the merrier. Rather than sit back and do it all by yourself, it is recommended you do it with someone and sometimes it is quite rewarding to do that with your partner.
Reasons I encourage moms to always carry their partners along include
- Support system: In my case I carried my husband along. i told him i needed to loose weight and I was determined. At first he thought I was joking as usual. I had said it a billion times over and he was very certain that it was just a joke. But this time I meant every word. Started the first day, made a green looking smoothie and he said ‘never will he drink such a smoothie. I asked him to taste it, he refused. I just laughed and kept at it. 2 weeks after, he looked at me and said -this thing is really working and yeah he was interested in. He didn’t want to be left out because he saw how effective it was. since then he’s the one who monitors to make sure i don’t go back on my habits
- Judge: partners are they ones that will always tell us the truth-your partner knows what you look like and will always know when something has changed about you. sometimes they may say it the wrong way but it doesn’t stop you from achieving that goal.
- Jealousy: if you are lucky to have a jealous lover then enjoy it-someone who will say i don’t want to be left behind. He wants to look good as well so that you don’t leave him behind.
It is always fun to do things together. No matter how busy you are, find time for your partner. a lot of things can change when people communicate
I am Dr. Christiana Stephen, a wife, a mom of 4 under 4 year old kids, a photo lover, makeup artist, a wellness coach and a lecturer. Motherhood for me is ongoing, its a period of learning and unlearning. I am passionate about a lot of things but most importantly helping mothers around the work reach their wellness goals comes as top priority. Hence, I have created this community for every woman out there. Feel free to be part of this amazing journey of motherhood and wellness. I will say raising this community is inspired by my experience and learning process. The main essence is to empower moms on the benefits of healthy living as well as the need to create a life work balance.
I am nice so a lot of people say and I believe I am very approachable even when there is a lot to be done. I love teaching. I can teach on a lot of things including time and stress management.