#166. Just Be Silly -Christiana Stephen50 Amazing Moms With Dr. Christiana Stephen

Hello Moms,

I got some very lovely likes and feedback from my Saturday fashion update. It seems you all loved the style last Saturday, Thank you. I had a good laugh with inbox messages on why I should add more colors to this page. Today, I’m discussing something controversial.

I had a discussion with someone who told me her husband called her ‘silly’ for looking after herself. According to her, she had worked so hard and felt she needed a bit of pampering, decided to go for a spa treat and her hubby came out so hard on her for taking out time to pay attention to herself.

My response was if looking after myself at no one’s expense is being silly, then ill just be silly. This is the society we live in. There are dos and donts for being a good mother. Who sets the rules? Who determines how a mom should be?. The society. Who is the society? You and Me.

Let’s face it, we are the society. We ignorantly set the rules by not doing what we are meant to do. We sit quietly and accept everything and then, blame it on society. I’m no feminist and honestly, I have failed to put my head around what being feminist is, but I believe we all have the right to self care and self love. You have the right to love yourself, pamper and give yourself a treat, if that is being silly, then be silly. At the end of the day, if anything goes wrong with you, the world goes on. 2 minutes silence and off they go…

It can be demanding because Motherhood is such a time that we find ourselves switching between roles and identities. We wear different hats, from mom to teacher, nurse to friend, wife to cook, dry cleaner to therapist. It’s just nameless. But the hat we hardly wear as moms is ‘the self hat’. What’s the self hat?. The hat that gives you a little attention as a person. The hat that allows you be human without guilt. It’s quite trendy and acceptable when we look after everyone else but ourselves. I hear moms say -It’s my responsibility to look after my family. Who’s responsibility is it to look after you?.

Why do we feel so indebted to everyone else but ourselves? Why do we feel guilty to look after ourselves? Looking after oneself does not mean one is selfish or wicked or heartless, it means you understand and appreciate the need to be healthy, the need for self care, the need to be loved. I am very particular about me, it goes beyond how I look, most importantly, what I eat. My food for me, is a reflection of how much I love myself. I do not joke with sleep time plus nap time plus exercise time or is it my skin routine? I am that conscious and most importantly, my emotional, mental and spiritual health.

Quite recently I found out that a lot of us associate self care and self love to beauty routine and the body but pay less attention to the mind, our emotions and our space. Self love is broad. It isn’t just fitting into an expensive outfit or being able to afford one, it includes the control you have over your emotional health. Knowing when to draw the line and also being able to set boundaries. It involves eating what nourishes your body as against eating what is sweet in taste. In your own way and with the resources you have, pay attention to YOU. Love yourself enough to say ‘NO’ to toxic people. Be real to yourself and your overall well-being.

Meanwhile, I did the Mono concept what do you think about this outfit? The weather is getting colder by the day. Quite hard to style without a jacket. Black and white seem like a traditional color. It takes us back memory lane. When we lived in a mono era.

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HAVE A LOVELY WEEKEND…

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